Unfinished Business by C Lopes

I asked myself the question-"Why have I left so many ideas unfinished?"and I tried to leave myself open to whatever answer would appear. The answer as I believe it to be was not exactly flattering, as I probably should have expected. Here it is. If I carry around a mind filled with ideas that I have decided are good, I am good. Any further exposure of the ideas to the general public would endanger my protected self image of these ideas (and therefore myself) as good. Even the further development of these ideas private and unpublished, could be seen as a threat to my precious self-image. If I finish an idea and it doesn't come out right or good, well then, if follows that I myself am not right or good. So all I have to do is leave everything alone and it will all be fine just as it is, status quo, right? When I put this all down in words, I can see how foolish ,how childish, all of this is. The fear and the protection I am cloaking myself in are both totally unnecessary. Like most people, I have survived countless attacks of criticism, hostility, indifference-both professional and personal, and still been able to move past and move on. I have finished many things before and been able to deal with whatever happened next-success or failure, joy or depression-anything and everything in between. What I am asking of myself now is to further develop a habit of completion and at the same time maintain at sense of detachment from the results. I try to do this without a sense of panic or high drama.I am asking for these practical habits from what I understand to be the quiet, peaceful and truthful parts of my own self.